she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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