Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
