well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
