I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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