I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
