I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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