Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
