They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
