Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
