Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
