I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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