My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
