Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
