i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
