thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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