I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
