Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
