I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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