i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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