This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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