: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
