And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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