4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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