Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
