just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
