Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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