Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
