What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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