I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize