I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
