i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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