I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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