Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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