you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
