i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
