yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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