And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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