the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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