You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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