My sheets look like a crime scene.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
