May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
