woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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