biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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