i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
