batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
