After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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