I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
