we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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