Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
