Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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