It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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