well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize