He disabled his match.com account in front of me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
