All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
