Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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