i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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