one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
